Off the Spiral: Poison Ivy Is Not Sexy
by GreyInnocence
Summary: Tezuka and Fuji go camping for Tezuka's birthday, but things don't exactly go as planned. Belated birthday fic for Tezuka. TeFu.


A/N: Welcome to the very first in our series of spin-offs of The Notebook, Off the Spiral. Look forward to seeing many more of these coming out in the near-ish future and after The Notebook has ended in March. This was supposed to be for Tezuka's birthday, but, well, it took us a little longer than planned. This was inspired by a line from chapter thirteen in The Notebook, in which Fuji confesses during a game of Never Have I Ever to having gotten poison ivy from having sex in the woods.

_"Never have I ever gotten poison ivy from having sex in the woods." Kaidoh looked very pleased as Fuji and Tezuka both drank._

Also, just as a funny side note, we both started itching while we were writing this. And we were in different cities.

Disclaimer: We are not Konomi Takeshi. There are two of us and only one of him.

Poison Ivy Is Not Sexy

Fuji's strength amazed Tezuka sometimes, even though he watched Fuji train every day and knew how deceptive the tensai's thin arms were. Now, as Fuji lifted his pack effortlessly and slung it on his back, Tezuka had to stop himself from staring.

Fuji smiled brightly at him. "Ready to go, Mitsu?"

Tezuka nodded, and they set off on the mile-long hike to the campsite he and his grandfather had used since he was a small child.

Not ten minutes into their hike Fuji's footsteps ceased behind him. "Kunimitsu, what is this?"

Tezuka turned to see the tensai staring at a white flowered vine creeping up some rocks on the side of the path. He furrowed his brow and walked back towards the crouching boy. "That's honeysuckle, Syusuke."

"Why do they call it that?"

"You've really never been outside of the city, have you?"

Fuji shook his head. "No where like this."

Tezuka held the base of one of the pale flowers in his hand and gently pulled out the stigma. "Open."

Fuji stood and opened his mouth.

Tezuka laid the end of the stigma on Fuji's tongue for a moment before removing it.

"It's sweet!"

Tezuka smiled and nodded. "Let's go, Syusuke."

Fuji smiled brightly and followed after Tezuka. "Ne, what's on the agenda for the rest of the day?"

"Mostly setting up camp," Tezuka replied. "Putting up the tent, gathering firewood. Have you ever made a campfire?"

"Well, I've set fire to things," Fuji said thoughtfully, "but never a traditional campfire, no. You'll teach me?"

"Of course."

"This is so exciting!" Fuji fell into step not half a pace behind Tezuka. "What else are we going to do?"

"I thought you might like stargazing--"

"I've always been rather into astronomy, but you can't really see the stars at home very well."

"And tomorrow maybe we could go fishing or hiking--"

"Saa, I tried that once as a little kid. Did I ever mention I wasn't very patient as a child?"

"You're not very patient now, Syusuke."

"I'm sorry I keep interrupting, Kunimitsu... It's just, this is going to be so much fun..."

"We'll see."

"It is." Fuji stopped him with a hand on his arm and moved in front of the taller boy. "It will be fun because you'll be the one teaching me."

"Syusuke, we're never going to get to camp if you keep stopping us." Tezuka leaned down to kiss the tensai chastely.

"Mm... but I like sidetracking you," Fuji murmured, wrapping his arms around Tezuka's neck. "And you like it too."

"I do," Tezuka admitted, "but I _don't_ like the idea of looking for the campsite in the dark, so let's find it first, and then you can sidetrack me."

Fuji grinned.

"After we've done everything we need to do, that is."

His smile faded. "Ne, how mean."

"I doubt you want to have sex in dirt, Syusuke," Tezuka said wryly. "Tent first? I brought an air mattress and a battery-powered air pump. Much more comfortable."

Fuji laughed. "And here I thought you'd make me sleep on the cold, hard ground. You really are the perfect boyfriend."

"Not for your first time. I'll ease you into it."

"Ooh, this conversation's getting dirty. My first time was a long time ago, Mitsu. I can take it hard."

Tezuka shot the tensai a glare.

Fuji 'hm'ed a giggle and followed Tezuka towards the campsite again.

--

"Stupid poles! Don't do that!" Fuji frustratedly tried to snap together the aluminum tent poles. He did not understand why anyone would run an elastic cord through the poles if they were to snap together without it. It just didn't make sense. The stretchy string kept getting tangled with the elastic from the other poles where they crossed. _When is he coming back with the firewood?_

"Syusuke, what are you doing?"

"Trying to be helpful..." The tensai sighed.

"It's not the easiest thing to set up a tent by yourself, Syusuke," Tezuka said exasperatedly, kissing his boyfriend's forehead. "Here, we'll do it together, all right? Hold this..."

With Tezuka's expertise and Fuji's quick learning, the tent was up in no time, and Tezuka set to work blowing up the air mattress.

"Sex now?" Fuji said hopefully.

"We should start a fire for dinner. It's getting close to sunset."

Fuji pouted.

Tezuka rolled his eyes and fished something out of his bag.

"Is... Is that... what I think it is?"

Tezuka nodded.

"But, where did you find it? I've only ever seen it at that little store in Chiba!"

"I had Kentarou get some for me." He handed Fuji the wasabi Ramen cup and started to get the fire wood set up.

"This trip is supposed to be for your birthday tomorrow, and you've been catering to me all day!"

"I don't mind, Syusuke." Tezuka leaned over to kiss his forehead again.

"I do," Fuji said firmly. "Mitsu, there must be something I can do..."

"Continue to be as eager to learn as you have been. It's been... nice, sharing this with you."

Fuji smiled and leaned against Tezuka's side. "Okay. But tomorrow, you are not leaving that tent."

Tezuka smiled at the tensai indulgently as he rummaged through his bag again and pulled out a plastic bag.

"What is that for?"

Tezuka shredded the piece of newspaper and twirled it into a ball. He placed it in the middle of a ring of stones worn smooth with many years of use. He built up smaller sticks around it and took a lighter from the bag.

"I thought you rubbed two sticks together or used flint or something!" Fuji pouted.

"No, Syusuke, very few campers use those methods anymore. Lighters are much more reliable."

"Oh..."

After they ate dinner they changed and crawled into the tent.

Fuji smiled, his fingers trailing under Tezuka's sweater. "Finally," he breathed, "an activity I have experience in."

Hours had passed when they finally collapsed onto the half-deflated air mattress. "We'll have to re-inflate this before we go to sleep," Tezuka murmured into Fuji's hair. He had absolutely no desire to move and didn't think he'd really mind too much if they stayed like this the rest of the night, but he didn't want Fuji to be uncomfortable.

Fuji chuckled, and Tezuka felt his arm being pulled up, presumably so Fuji could check the time. "Ne, Mitsu."

"Hn?"

"It's 12:09. Happy birthday." Fuji turned his head and gently pressed his lips to Tezuka's.

"Thank you," Tezuka replied.

Tezuka started to move to get the pump to the mattress.

"No, stay."

"We'll wake up on the ground. I don't want you to be uncomfortable."

"I'll just have to sleep on you then."

Tezuka 'hm'ed and petted Fuji's hair as the tensai settled on top of him.

--

Fuji regretted not letting Tezuka reinflate the mattress the next morning when he woke up with a stone digging through the bottom of the tent and the mattress into his hip. He got up and rubbed the spot tenderly, crawling to the opening of the tent to watch Tezuka cook something. _Hopefully tea or coffee_, his sleepy brain input.

Tezuka looked over. "Syusuke. You're awake."

Fuji nodded tiredly. "Morning, Mitsu."

"Did you sleep well?"

"All right," he half-lied. "Happy birthday."

"You aren't sore, are you?"

Fuji smirked a bit as Tezuka handed him a mug. "What sort of sore?"

Tezuka's cheeks colored ever so slightly, making him quickly cover it with a frown.

"I'm not either sort of sore, Mitsu. Why?"

"I thought we could take a hike."

"That sounds wonderful."

"Get dressed."

Fuji huffed a dramatic sigh. "I wanted to run about naked in the forest though."

"As much as that sounds like a fantastic birthday present, families sometimes bring their small children hiking here. There's a public campground a few miles south of here."

Fuji reached into his bag and removed his day clothing and more or less gave his boyfriend a strip tease as he removed his pajamas. He glanced over his shoulder to see if Tezuka was watching and pouted when he wasn't.

Tezuka stooped by the fire to clean up the cups and tea bags, discretely trying to adjust himself in his now too tight jeans. Fuji was so... Tezuka didn't have a word for this Fuji, except maybe maddening.

Fuji's jeans were also too tight, though not for the same reasons as Tezuka's. They were practically painted on besides where they flared out a little at the knee, hugging in all the right places, and Tezuka knew Fuji knew they weren't exactly practical for hiking. He would probably walk a little in front of Tezuka and bend over a lot and be absolutely infuriating, and Tezuka couldn't think of a better birthday gift.

Tezuka packed a small bag with water bottles, trailmix, and a first aid kit while Fuji readied his camera.

"Ready?"

"Saa." Fuji settled the strap to his camera bag on his shoulder.

Half an hour of curious, sexy, wonderfully maddening Fuji later Tezuka was ready to throw the tensai up against the next convenient rock or tree they saw and ravish him, families with small children be damned.

"Syusuke," he said through gritted teeth. "Stop."

"Stop what, Mitsu?" Fuji asked, tilting his head. He was the picture of innocence, but Tezuka had never been fooled by Fuji's masks.

"You know exactly what." The remains of his self-restraint were quickly waning.

"I'm afraid I don't, Mitsu." Fuji's brows lifted into a slight frown. He tilted his head. "Are you all right?"

Tezuka was not all right; the expanse of neck Fuji had just exposed by cocking--_Wrong word! _his brain protested--tilting his head was covered by a rather distinct hickey Tezuka had put there last night. "Syusuke." Tezuka crossed the space between them and took the tensai securely into him arms.

"Mitsu," Fuji said, the barest hint of a smirk in his voice, "what about the little children who might come along and--"

Tezuka cut him off with a kiss, his hands working on the button of the tensai's jeans. "Never mind that," he muttered. "The sight of you naked could not possibly scar a child."

Fuji chuckled as Tezuka struggled to push his jeans down. "These are _absurdly_ tight," he muttered frustratedly.

"Aren't they wonderful?"

"Not right now."

"Well, no, not right now..." Fuji took Tezuka's hurried hands in his. "You're never going to get them off with that sort of fumbling."

Tezuka's hands twitched as he watched Fuji kick the pants the rest of the way off. Tezuka was never sure how he moved in such restricting clothing. _Oh, of course he wouldn't be wearing underwear with those..._ Tezuka hoped his face wasn't quite as red as he thought.

Fuji looked all too kissable in his long-ish shirt, for which Tezuka was thankful since they were still on the path, and socks, stepping towards him silently. His camera bag lay a few feet from them at the foot of a tree near the disgarded jeans.

Tezuka slipped his backpack off his shoulders and put it near another tree. He wanted to go off the path a little since they very well could be small children now that his head wasn't quite so Fuji-fogged. The tree had poison ivy growing up the side of it, so he knew he'd be able to find it later.

Fuji yanked him down into a kiss, pressing their bodies close together, and Tezuka quickly unbuttoned his pants, shoving them down with his boxers and backing Fuji up against the nearest tree.

"Do you have lube?" he breathed, his forehead pressed against Fuji's.

"What a silly question, Kunimitsu. I _always_ have lube."

Tezuka felt the tube being pressed into his hand and quickly slicked his fingers. Using his clean hand he tilted Fuji's face up to meet his and kissed him softly.

Fuji smiled as they broke apart. "I love you, Kunimitsu. Happy birthday."

"Thank you," Tezuka murmured, slowly pushing his finger into the tensai. Fuji moaned, burying his face in Tezuka's shoulder.

"Mitsu," Fuji whined as Tezuka grazed his prostate. The tensai struggled not to push himself towards Tezuka's hand as a second finger began probing his entrance.

"Patience," Tezuka scolded, scissoring his fingers apart to stretch Fuji. Fuji arched back against the tree, his knees shaking with the effort of holding himself up.

Tezuka pulled Fuji up with the arm not preoccupied with inserting another finger into the tensai, letting him wrap his legs around Tezuka's waist. "Mitsu!" Fuji protested as Tezuka teased him.

Tezuka smirked as he nibbled at the hickey from the previous night. With his free hand he flipped the open the cap of the tube of lube and squeezed some onto his member, then tossed the tube on the ground.

He positioned himself at Fuji's entrance, pausing just to see Fuji squirm some more, and then slowly pressed inside.

Fuji locked him arms and legs around the captain as he pressed completely inside. "Kunimitsu, you feel so good."

Tezuka felt his knees go weak as Fuji flexed around him and pulled way from the tree to sink to the ground, the new angle making Fuji moan.

"Mommy, what are those weird noises?"

"No, Katashi, don't--"

"But mommy! Maybe it's a bear! Wouldn't that be so cool!"

Tezuka and Fuji froze behind the tree as the leaves crunched under the little boy's feet. He was only a few feet from them.

The mother approached and, they supposed, took the boy's hand and tugged him away because they moved away. "You know, Katashi, bears like to eat up cute little boys like you!"

"I'm not cute!"

"I think you're very cute!"

"Boy's aren't cute!"

"He's right, honey." A deeper male voice commented as they quickly moved further down the path.

When they could no longer hear the family's chatter they let out the breath they'd been holding.

"Mitsu, are there bears in this forest?"

"Not that I've ever seen, Syusuke."

"Hm... that's to bad." The tensai frowned and rested his head on Tezuka's shoulder.

"We should go back," Tezuka said uncertainly.

Fuji pouted at him.

"The mood is dead, Syusuke. When we get back to camp, we'll--" Tezuka paused, looking at the leaves on which they were sitting.

"Kunimitsu, would you mind scratching the back of my left leg? It's terribly itchy."

"Itchy as in a random itch itchy, or itchy as in there is a reason for the itch itchy?"

"Why do you ask?"

"This tree is covered in poison ivy."

"And you just noticed!?"

"You were distracting me!"

"It's going to be in all sorts of uncomfortable places, isn't it..."

"Most likely." Tezuka stood carefully, holding his hand out to Fuji. He examined the tensai's back, and sure enough, red rashes were beginning to appear all over his back, arms, butt, and legs. "Well. At least we have chamomile lotion."

"Why do you have that?"

Tezuka shrugged. It had just been something his grandfather carried with him on camping trips.

"You would have made a fine boy scout, Mitsu."

Tezuka shrugged and handed Fuji his pants and camera bag, which was rather light.

"Syusuke, where's your camera?"

"Well... You see..." He paused in pulling up his pants.

"Syusuke..." Tezuka frowned.

"I thought it would make ever so beautiful pictures though, with all the autumn leaves..."

"I am deleting those."

"No!" Fuji scooped up his camera from its place partially beneath a few leaves and clutched it to his chest.

Tezuka sighed. "Fine. Just don't show them to anyone."

"You know me better than that. As if I'd let anyone else see what's mine." Fuji started to pull on his pants, but paused. "Mitsu, I can't wear these."

"Why?"

"I have _poison ivy_, and these are skin-tight, it'll be awfully painful."

"You made the choice to wear them..." Tezuka shouldered his bag again, forcing back a smile.

"Mitsu!"

"I wonder if a small child would be scarred by seeing you covered in a splotchy oozing red rash..."

Fuji pouted and slung the pants over his shoulder. "Mitsu, you're so mean..."

Tezuka doubled back and kissed Fuji's forehead. "Don't scratch it."

"Let me wear your boxers! You can still wear your pants, but I'm not walking around half-naked."

"You wouldn't usually have a problem with that."

"I will have a problem with it when I'm arrested for indecent exposure. Pants off."

"Syusuke, you can't be serious. You were talking about gallivanting around the woods naked just an hour ago."

"I was kidding! Would it really be so terrible for you to walk back to camp without boxers on? Mitsu, I can't wear these pants, and what if we come across that couple with the little boy again? This is a long shirt, but he was two feet tall, _he'll see everything."_

"If you take your shirt off, you could probably trick him into thinking you were a woodland nymph."

"Nymphs carry cameras?"

"Not if their human lovers do..."

"Kunimitsu, stop being ridiculous. Just give me your pants."

"These pants chaff, Syusuke."

"Why did you choose to bring chaffing pants on a camping trip?"

Tezuka flushed.

"Oh...are those the pants that...?" Fuji walked around Tezuka. "Those _are_ the pants that make me want to grab your ass. Naughty, naughty, Kunimitsu."

Tezuka's blush darkened.

"Besides, they wouldn't chaff if you didn't wear underwear with them."

"But how does that..."

"That's how they're made."

_It wouldn't surprise me if he was lying just to see me in these pants with no underwear... _Tezuka thought, glaring at his boyfriend. Still, Fuji had a point; they could run into anyone on the path, and he really didn't want to explain to an authority figure that Fuji was naked because they'd been having sex in the woods of a public campsite...

"Fine," Tezuka huffed, unbuttoning his pants. He took off his pants and then his boxers, handing them to Fuji, and pulled the pants back on. It felt... strange. He frowned as he buttoned and zipped them, careful not to catch any skin. He didn't know how Fuji could stand this.

Fuji was smiling appreciatively at him. "The view is even nicer now," he said, nodding.

"You don't match," Tezuka muttered, just to make his fashion-conscious boyfriend shut up and stop ogling his ass.

The tensai just smirked and took Tezuka's hand, pulling him onto the path and in the direction of their campsite.


End file.
